Lost
by Charlene Heo
Summary: Kazemaru is dead. Endou's soul died with him. This takes place at the end of the Aliea arc, where Kazemaru is a Dark Emperor. Only this time... he dies.


Blood.

Blood on the floor.

Kazemaru's eyes were fluttering shut, while a sobbing Endou knelt beside his friend's dying body.

"_E-Endou... k-keep playing s-soccer... You'll d-defeat the world, w-won't you_?" Kazemaru rasped out, blood flowing out from the side of his mouth. Endou just sniffled and grabbed his hair in frustration.

Kazemaru was dying.

Kazemaru was leaving.

"Shut up! Don't say it like you're DYING! YOU'RE NOT DYING! YOU'RE JUST TIRED!" Endou yelled. Kazemaru smiled. The teal-haired boy cried along with Endou, while the rest of the team watched on the sidelines.

"Oh _god_... where's the ambulance? It should be here by now!" Aki's panicked tone rang in the other member's ears clearly. "It should be on it's way." Kidou said, wiping something from his eyes.

"I can't believe you did that." Tsunami said, looking down at the tied-up Kenzaki with a furious glare on his face, his eyes deep with confusion and hatred. "The boy had it coming to him. He tried to stop me." Kenzaki said, an insane grin on his face.

He was gone. Bonkers. Bats.

"_Endou... come here._" Kazemaru said. Endou shuddered and nodded, lowering his head down. Kazemaru lifted his hand up and touched Endou's cheek gently, his fingers cold and shaking.

He whispered something to Endou, and his hand dropped to the floor, unmoving.

Endou grabbed Kazemaru's fallen hand and squeezed it. Nothing happened. He tried again.

Nothing happened.

Kazemaru Ichirouta had died.

"KAZEMARU! WAKE UP! YOU SAID WE'D PLAY SOCCER TOGETHER! YOU SAID WE'D PLAY AGAINST THE WORLD TOGETHER! YOU LIAR! WAKE UP! KAZEMARU!" Endou roared at the dead body, his tears spilling freely from his eyes.

"W-why? Kazemaru-kun..." Aki, Otonashi and Natsumi, as well as the rest of the team, were in tears. Despite the fact that Tsunami and a few others hardly knew Kazemaru... they could feel Endou's pain.

And the heavy aura of dead was lingering in the air.

The wail of an ambulance's siren ripped through the depressing silence, not counting their sobs.

* * *

_"I'll see you later, Endou."_

_

* * *

_

I remember him.

I remember him smiling, laughing... even being mad at me for trying to pull his hair. I remember his eyes, the way they lit up when he was happy or excited. I remember his body, his slim waist and smooth pale legs that put females to shame.

I remember his hands, stroking my own hand, comforting me, pushing me away from danger.

I remember his voice, telling me to pass him the tomato sauce, telling me about the Track Team, telling me how strong I was... telling me what a soccer freak I am.

I can still hear him.

He's beating, in my heart, every single moment. I feel him. I sense him.

I love him.

He was the greatest thing that ever came into my life, and I let that go. I let him go. I let him _die_. I hate myself for it.

Why did I left him leave? Why did that bastard want to shoot me? _Why did he shield me_?

I've always wanted to hold him, I realised on the day he died. I wanted to run my hands over that amazing body, to hug him, to kiss him, to claim him for myself. I wanted him to belong to me, and me only.

Others wanted him too. Kirigakura and Miyasaka hated me for getting close to him, I'm aware. They knew he wanted me, as much as I wanted him.

Otonashi even said he was destined to be my 'uke'. I still laugh while thinking about it, because he had been there, he had blushed. I should have told him how I felt, how much he meant to me.

But I didn't. And he got scared.

Scared of the power Aliea had. Scared of what he was becoming- a mindless soccer machine. Scared of Gran. Scared of _me_.

I knew he felt threatened. I wanted to pull him close to me, to kiss him and tell him it was alright. It was all going to be alright.

But I didn't.

And now I have to pay the price.

He's dead.

My soul died with him, although my body is still alive. I can't live without him, I can't feel without him. He's my everything, my whole being. I need him so badly, it hurts, and I try to take away the pain.

But then I can't. There are other people here who would go through what I'm going through now if I tried that. I hate it. I hate the bonds I have to this world.

I want to end it all here, and start it all _there_. My red string it tied to his finger. A red string that will never, ever break. I love him.

I love Kazemaru.

I love everything about him.

I love the way he smiled at me.

I love the way he talked to me.

I love the way he laughed with me.

I love him... so... much...

It hurts. It hurts, Kazemaru! Why did you leave me?

I love you.

.

.

.

* * *

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**More angst to come... after reviews and adds. :)**


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